I talk a lot about personal power in my blog and in sessions with clients. What does it mean exactly?

I consider it a state of mind: You know you are strong, confident, and talented. It comes from inside you, and no one can take it away. And, most importantly, it has nothing with what other people think of you.

I want to drive the last part home because many times, people confuse true power with the ability to command attention. A acquaintance of mine who is now a single mother of two teenagers, believes she was most powerful in her 20s. Back then, men would travel miles just to spend a few minutes with her, strangers proposed marriage, and potential suitors showered her with gifts. These days she feels invisible and therefore powerless.

Another friend also sees her younger self as powerful because she had "big, brass ones." She would do anything on a dare, and she loved being the brave one in her circle. Nowadays, she is much more cautious because she is responsible for her family, and her actions impact them too. She describes herself as more fearful than fearless.

Both of my friends felt they were the most powerful when they caused a reaction in others - desire, envy, admiration, shock. Now that they no longer turn heads or raise eyebrows, they feel as though they have no purpose. Nothing can be further from the truth. Personal power isn't conditional. It comes from an unshakeable faith in yourself, and a love for the person you are. You look back at the life you've lived and the hills you climbed, and you are proud.

But what if you've lost that belief in yourself? The first step in taking back your power is by acknowledging your value. An easy way to start is by truly celebrating your talents and gifts. Make a list. Challenge yourself to add at least one thing a day. I bet you will be pleasantly surprised when you put down on paper all the joys that are YOU.