My Spiritual Journey: Francesca Tamagnini

Every month, I will introduce you to someone I’ve met along my spiritual path who has inspired me. Meet Francesca Tamagnini. She is a certified life coach and has been researching the healing field since her childhood, practicing Tarology for more than 20 years. Francesca has studied with professional healers and pioneers such as Alejandro Jodorowsky and Laura Day and attended, among other schools, the Arthur Findlay College.

Tell us about your life's journey and what brought you to this place.

I believe my journey and what got me to this point is the longing to know what is behind human behavior and to find ways to help people feel better and heal their emotional wounds.

So, even though I've been peeking and diving into many careers, the continuous focus in my life has always been healing on therapies.

Having said that, I honor all my career adventures — such as bank clerk, computer programmer, and all the other experiences I embarked on or stumbled upon — because having dealt with so many different work environments and characters, I can connect and relate to different "languages" and meet people in "their place.”

One of my life and work foundations has always been humor, playfulness, and the arts because I believe they provide highways to healing. 

Movies and music have always played a significant part in my life in educating and assessing my direction, so much so, in fact, that what I learned as a professional actress, director and filmmaker ended up integrating into my studies and practices as a life coach and healer.

I always thought that even just a single meaningful line in a script is more than enough to save a movie from doom, and I remember always bringing a pen and a notebook with me at the cinema to write down that essential, crucial line that could have actually changed my life and eventually someone else's. 

Something else that characterizes me and my journey is the fact I've always felt, since the early stages, that there is a meaning behind everything happening around me. A reason for things to be the way they are, so no matter the pain I was surrounded with — or the situation I found myself in — I knew there was a precise mechanism behind that, and such deep feeling helped me deal with a lot of situation in my life by providing me with a sense of great peace and stability.

I wasn't calling it God or giving it a religious connotation, rather, I would see it more as "physics bonds." As it happens with fabrics: when you pull a thread on the left side of a fabric, you'll end up seeing the line jagging all the way to the right.

I would have seen the patterns, the connections.

I can say my life has been mostly about my research on awareness, human well-being, and behaviors — and striving for connection and belonging.

My journey is and has always been one of an "experience-embracer." making sure I am always able to answer the question "why am I doing this?" so that I know there is that squeezable lesson that I'll be able to share in my future with others if needed.

For this reason, my path has also been one of studying and experimenting with different healing methods — with the aim, one day, to create a healing and therapy center where adults can be restored — and children preserved.

What lessons have you learned along the way?

It's difficult to summarise a life journey in a few words, but here are some precious handles I discovered and learned to use to climb my mountains.

1. Everything is always connected.

There is a reason behind every behavior. It might not be understandable, acceptable, visible, or whatever,  but there are always dynamics in the background controlling what happens in the foreground.  And as Shakespeare wrote in King Lear, "nothing will come of nothing.”  The knowing, the digging out of the reasons, and the understanding have always been essential parts of my journey.

Along the way, I learned expressing love requires placing boundaries and that understanding does not mean "accepting being mistreated because I understand someone's pain" — rather, being able to remove myself from an unhealthy situation without judgment.

I learned to protect myself as I would protect my child.

2. Another major lesson came from my high school math lessons.

This one always pops into my mind and comes to the rescue, especially when it's time to end a relationship I would have probably found reasons to continue or, rather, drag on.

In math, there is this logical way of proving a theory called "reductio ad absurdum" (or apagogical arguments) — I would explain it in detail, but for the blog's sake, I'll shrink it to the essential question this method led me to ask myself, which is: “would you really see yourself living in this way, for all of your life?”

If the answer is no, I have no excuses, and I can no longer hide.

It Is all about stretching myself all the way through that lifespan and seeing how I would like that.

Another couple of useful questions I learned to ask myself are:

“Do I like myself in this situation?”

“Do I like the way I behave?”

3. As a healer, I witnessed the greatest shifts in perspective and the greatest changes in people when I invited them to look at their "family situation" as they would have observed a majestic epic painting in the Sistine Chapel. Distancing themselves from the picture eased their understanding.

4. I learned several lessons from the vocabulary. The power of language and words are something I've always been interested in and love to work and play with. Understanding how words are built, spread, used, and developed and checking the etymology helped me tilt my perspective in many situations or shifted my way of living.

This came through my studies as an IT technician. We are nature, yes — but also machines -- as we learn through language as well. So the language programs us, and we need to pay attention to the structures we put in place.

The instructions running in our background as "embedded coding," like the phrases we've been told over and over or we tell ourselves over and over, need to be revised and kept in check.

For that matter, a great deal of help comes from a lesson I was taught during my acting training and hold on to in my life: “before the words come the gesture.”  

5. Another meaningful teaching came through an overwhelming episode, and it is about "mirroring."

The surreal episode went this way: I organized a Monopoly night, and as the game unrolled, I found myself playing the role and embodying the character of a dedicated grandma whose only intention was to keep her modest properties to save the rent for her grandchildren's university fund. For quite a long time, I kept resisting the reiterate requests from several players and the attacks from a ferocious businessman who, eventually, took me down by exhaustion … and, after several attempts, there I was selling my Electricity Company TO HIM ... and BAM, in a matter of seconds, the power of the almighty triggering mechanisms was already operating on one of my best friend's psyche, reviving painful memories of which I couldn't be aware.

I still look at this episode with an impressed, almost dazzled smile for the powerful and unforeseen way this lesson came through. It was an intense and challenging (for days later!) moment that allowed me to become extremely aware of how triggering and mirroring mechanisms can ambush us.

Now I'm always open to a sudden "change of channel," an "opening of the door" moment, and I'm able to understand that something important is unfolding in front of my eyes, and when needed, I'm able to make the surrounding people aware of that as well, which is useful.

6. Traumas are literally stored in our bodies in the form of an electric charge and, when triggered, even by the most incomprehensible unrelated thing (event, object, word), can cause a reaction that even ourselves can't explain. Worry not, "Trauma's speaking,"  and so, as my journey therapist taught me, "The trauma, to be worked on, needs to be awakened by the same charge that caused it at the beginning. Here's why we stumble in those experiences that challenge us."  So paying attention to where those mysterious reactions are anchored is like paying attention to the X marked on a treasure map.  Underneath, there lays the chest to be open, and since then, I'm on an even more excited, dedicated, and clear hunt!

7. The obvious reason is not always the right, and a deep reason behind an absence and silence does not always mean indifference.  Silence can hide pain.

Two last precious teachings I wish to share with you are the following:

8.  "The opposite of fear is not courage. It is joy."  I smile and let this sink in.

This was a gift from a dear friend gifted with these words by a friar's friend in a monastery in Siena's countryside.

9. Finally, a story I once heard:  When after an eternal chase, two stars finally encounter each other, from their rendezvous, the sky will weep tears of pearls.  Those who are lucky enough to assist this miracle, throw their hands and grab a gem will see their luck multiply by donating it to someone.

I believe it says it all.

Where does your happiness come from?

It's interesting that usually, at first, when I'm asked about happiness, I plunge straight into the feeling of peace. Then, almost puzzled, I shake my head and think, "No, wait a minute. I've been asked about 'happiness!” — so then I have to compile what happiness is for me: smile, laugh, love, lightness.

When I need to brush up on my happiness, I think of a short comic strip that is about literally tune-grabbing “happiness” from the energy field.  And it works!

When I need something more tangible, when down or foggy, laughing works as a "reset button" and breaks the vicious circle of my thoughts, so I look for short comic strips or — I know! — I watch funny videos of animals.

Something that deeply nurtures my happiness is supporting my friend's projects and helping them reach their goal. This is a major one.

Reducing, in one sentence, my happiness comes from feeling connected.

What inspires you?

Nature. Animals, Love, Art. Life in general. Understanding its mechanics and human beings.

Who inspires you?

This list could count many names in it, and it is an ever-evolving evergreen creature. The list, I can say, has a life in itself. All my friends, teachers, and allies in my field of studies and beyond.  People who bring beauty, love, and understanding into this world.

At the beginning of my journey, a major inspiration came through the person and the work of Alejandro Jodorowsky, who I had the luck to meet and study with during a Tarology Workshop.

What gets you excited about life?

Some of my favorite excitement top-up are:

Learning about love stories that passed the tests of time and life challenges and lasted.

Creating interactive art projects that can boost healing processes and the understanding of how the mind works.

Helping people understand and make them aware of the invisible dynamics underlying our lives.

Exploring people's birthday charts and feeling their shift in energy when, with their eyes open wide in a stupor, they put their own story pieces together. This is one of the things I love the most.

Travelling and the actual physical sensation of crossing space.

Can you share a breakthrough with us?

My breakthroughs came by observing myself going through challenging times, being a hammering "question-asking woodpecker," while writing about my situation and constantly mapping it ...  all cherried by "awareness," which to me is knowing the reason I'm embracing the experience even though I might not be able to verbalize it yet.

I'll be talking about _ships and the life-changing equation I summarized out of some of my writing and simplified my life, and made my choices easier ever since.

CLARITY = FREEDOM (being really free to choose and stand for what you believe in).

Where there is no clarity, there is no freedom.

Where there is confusion, there is no clarity.

"Clarity equals freedom" is a fundamental equation I put together years ago once I boarded on something I believed was a relationship and then realized, no matter how much effort and love I poured in, it would have remained a  <situation>-ship garnished by the promise of evolution.

This was my hook "The promise of evolution." People who have been abused, especially in childhood, get fished by it  (yes, big time) and tend to dismiss red flags or forgive misbehavior because they have seen and they are (ab)used to way worse .. so much so that they keep forgiving ... until one day! The day my breakthrough allowed me to recognize the mechanics of the hook in repeat, and in my past, it was anchoring.

Mine has to do with love, boundaries, trust, and promises -- of course.

I came out from that ship with a mind-tattoo "no words but action!” Promises are acceptable but are imperative they are followed by actions. And a steady, felt course of them. Otherwise is like Mina's song "Parole" — even in this case, I could have been wordier, but I needed to pass the juice.

2. Work with proverbs to understand your life and heal your wounds.

It's been known for centuries that proverbs and popular ways of saying hold important truth and power, sometimes more in disguise than others.

One of the latest breakthroughs I had has been about the usage of my voice connected to my singing.

It would be too long to explain in this context, but let's just put it in a schematic way:

1. As a child, I was always singing, then suddenly I stopped.

2. In my adulthood, I started singing again, but there was always some nagging deep fear, almost a sense of life threat around it.

3. After some healing work using different modalities (Laura Day, Gabriella Mereu, and several movies), I've recollected scattered memories, put them together, and saw that as I child, I witnessed something I shouldn't have, and from that moment, I stopped singing .. because, in Italian "Cantare" not only stands for the actual act of singing but also in slang it stands for "blurt out.”

What is your superpower?

Some of my superpowers are humor, taking life as an adventure, and a treasure quest. And longing to always know "the why" behind a behavior.

Also, transforming the daily tools into something different and playful is one of my favorites.

Like when I was working in a pub. During closing time, we were supposed to go outside and swap all the real glasses with plastic cups. So, I would have embraced my mission by moving and clicking the long pile of plastic cups I was holding in my hand as if they were Tomb Raider gunshot and staying in the role I would have told my colleagues, "let's swap those glasses!" and left for the street.

How do you stay connected to your higher self and the universe?

I find that sometimes I need to shuffle my Spiritual-Fit Regime but meditating and observing nature always allow me to tune in.

Is there anything you'd like to share with us (blog, artwork, etc)?

Yes, a song I wrote years ago about healing the lineage we carry inside ourselves. It is titled "The Ghost.”