Shifting the Focus: Healing Your Own Feelings

When someone hurts us, it's natural to dwell on why they acted the way they did. We search for answers, hoping that understanding their motives will bring us peace. But more often than not, focusing on why someone hurt us leaves us stuck in a loop of frustration and confusion, without the healing we truly need.

Instead of asking why, try shifting the focus inward—toward your own feelings. How does this experience make you feel? What do you need to heal? By asking these questions, you create space to honor and validate your own emotions, an essential part of the healing process.

Sometimes, though, there's a hard truth we need to acknowledge: we can become attached to our pain. The hurt becomes familiar, and even though we don’t want to stay in it, it can feel safer than the unknown of what life might be like without it. This is a common part of being human, and there’s no shame in it. But recognizing that attachment is a powerful step toward deeper healing.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or dismissing what happened. It means gently allowing yourself to move beyond the weight of that pain, in your own time. By focusing on your own feelings and tending to them with compassion, you reclaim your power and open the door to a lighter, more peaceful you.

This journey of healing is yours, and there’s no rush—just the unfolding of self-compassion and growth.